Every little trait, however small, makes my very flesh begin to crawl...

I have decided that in the future, I will not attend homecoming events on the campuses of the schools I used to go to. You know why? Because everyone hates you when you go back for homecoming. Sure, the school may lay out the red carpet, and you get to see some old friends, but you remember. You remember what it was like to be a student, to have your eating places closed down, your activities canceled, your study spaces limited due to alumni functions. Homecoming just made it harder to do the things you need to do, and it created a burning resentment in your gut.

That's the position I'm in today, certainly, and it has firmed up my resolve. I had Mike drop me off at school so I could work all day on this damned paper, figuring I could get my meals and caffeine in the cafeteria. Unfortunately, the cafeteria, and the cafe within it, have been closed for an alumni function. I can't even get to the vending machines, as that area is full of hot carts and equipment for providing lots of food to the alumni. So here I am, hungry, unfocused, uncaffeinated, and full of helpless rage. Why would I want to put anyone else through that?

I am issuing a call to all my brethren in higher education: Don't go to Homecoming! Encourage everyone you know not to go to Homecoming as long as it is held chiefly on campus! Go back and visit, mingle with students, have off-campus parties like crazy. But don't make life more difficult for the kids who are just trying to live through college, law school, or their graduate program. Don't kick them out of the Oak Room or the Huezinga Commons or anywhere else they need to get food. It's not right, and they will hate you. Hate, hate, hate.