Maybe...

Well, I took the first step towards getting back to normal. I went to Dining Services and I got myself a new job. Not a great job, it's early in the morning, so my late nights are coming to an end, but it's a job.

I think it helps. It doesn't ease the rejection, or the fact that my summer plans are in the dumpster, but it takes the edge off. I can lose the "no one will ever hire me again" feeling and the "I have no money and no prospect of money in the future" fears. I was more hopeful today than I have been in the past two weeks.

Two weeks. Seems like longer. Seems like forever. I keep having dreams that they take me back and all is forgiven. They're happy dreams, but I'm always sad when I wake up. I'm going to try and go in tomorrow or Wednesday and get my check and my rocks. I'm afraid. I don't know how I'll hold my head up. I've blown this whole thing way out of proportion, I know. I'm not the first person in the world to lose a job because she made a mistake. But it just feels so bad.

Anyhow, enough of that. I have a new job! I will be baking cookies and making omelettes every morning but Tuesday and Friday! Go me!